Blog: Dealing with Boys

John Birdsall MR / John Birdsall Social Issues Photo Library / Press Association Images / Universal Images Group Rights Managed

Have you ever just looked at a guy and wondered what is going on in his head?

I know I have. Questions ranging from “Why would he say that this dress looks nice, when it makes me look bad!?” to “Why does he like shouting at the football players on TV, it’s not like they can hear him.” I wouldn’t say I’m an expert in dealing with guys, but I know a few things about how to get them to say what you want.


 

POST #2: OBNOXIOUS BOYS

This week’s blog is about obnoxious boys. Being obnoxious is defined as being extremely unpleasant, disagreeable, distasteful, or offensive. Obnoxious guys can be smart, athletic, attractive, or possess any trait that they have the ability to boast about. Here are two ways to deal with the type of boy who is more obsessed with himself than with anyone or anything else.

The first way is to pretend to be even more obnoxious than them. This can be really fun, so long as you don’t actually offend him but are able to get him to leave you alone. Act like you find yourself to be the most gorgeous, the smartest, and the overall best person in the entire world. When he’s around, say things like “I look so good today,” or even “I look so much better than you.” Just make sure he doesn’t get deeply offended or upset over what you say; you want to get him away from you, not make him start feeling inferior to everyone he meets. More often than not, guys who see themselves as some kind of exceptional person do not like to be around people who don’t see them like that. If you are the most arrogant person that he’s ever met, he’ll probably stop coming around you.

Once, I was walking with my sister through Ala Moana and a guy came up to her and started flirting with her. He was talking about how he had won awards from snowboarding during competitions in Canada. My sister, however, just stared at her own reflection in the doors of stores we passed. She would stop, look at her figure, fix her hair and makeup, etc.  Once the boy knew that my sister was more focused on herself than his story of him winning great awards, he turned around and walked in the opposite direction. Your guy might have the same response if you start being more obnoxious than him.

[one_third]Remember that guys often don’t realize that even little things they say can offend girls.[/one_third]

The second way is to just truthfully tell them how you feel. Though this method is a little less amusing than the first, it can feel better to not have to act like a conceited brat whenever you are around him. If you tell the guy that how he behaves around you and other people is offensive and annoying, he’ll either stop talking to you, or if he’s really annoying, he’ll talk to you more. I’d say the odds of getting him to stop talking to you are in your favor, but if you don’t want to risk it not turning out the way you hoped, just try the first method. There’s also the possibility of him acknowledging that you are right. In this case, he might not actually be that full of himself after all, or you’ve just given him a well-deserved reality check.

Remember that guys often don’t realize that even little things they say can offend girls, so don’t be too hasty in deciding that you want to get an obnoxious guy out of your life for good. Don’t be too quick to judge because on the off-chance that he isn’t actually obnoxious, you will have gotten rid of the possibility of becoming friends with him. And not all annoying or proud guys are bad; it is possible that they are having a good hair day or have just aced a test, and feel really good about it. Everyone deserves to be a little conceited once in a while. Be 100% positive they are the type of person you never want to be around before you shoo them away.


 

POST #1: WHY BOYS DO WHAT THEY DO

Guys like things easy, no question. When it comes to girls, guys don’t like having to over exert themselves in finding out what we mean when we say things. It can be hard for boys to have to multi-task and do what they want to do while, at the same time, pay attention to what girls want them to do. Guys like things to be bluntly put and easy to understand. I’m not trying to bash anyone in particular, but guys, if your teenage girlfriend, daughter, or sister wants you to stop doing something because it messes with the way she likes things, just stop.

[one_third]I believe that girls and guys have such trouble working together because girls are often perceived as being more openly emotional, and guys are seen as being more closed off.[/one_third]

Truthfully, it’s not his fault if a boy is always saying the wrong things; guys aren’t trying to cause problems or create drama because in all honesty, drama in a guy’s life just freaks him out. Quite frankly, I believe that girls and guys have such trouble working together because girls are often perceived as being more openly emotional, and guys are seen as being more closed off. Though there are many differences between guys and girls, some differences just go to show how equally at fault both guys and girls are when there are problems in any type of relationship.

I have been told that boys have three reasons for being annoying:

1) They like your reaction;
2) They like you; or
3) They are completely clueless when it comes to how to treat anyone of the female gender.

More often than not, it is number 3. Girls, you know what I’m talking about when I say boys are clueless. This behavior looks like a guy who is either staring blankly at you after you ask him a serious question, or a guy who gets mad at you after you get mad at him because he has no idea why you’re mad. If a guy likes you, he’ll do the whole “innocently clueless” act while at the same time try to make jokes every chance he gets. However, if he doesn’t like you so much as your reaction, he’ll do things to get you mad just to see you react and lose control. I know that I’m stereotyping boys, but I’m just trying to show a girl’s point of view. Now don’t get me wrong, boys are great; they’ll take care of you when you’re sick and they’ll love you when you’re acting really moody, but sometimes it’s fun to acknowledge the common mistakes they make. And to be fair, there are definitely some exceptions out there but I want to talk about common experiences that many girls are having.

In this blog series, I’ll try to talk about how to deal with each type of boy: the mean ones, the annoying ones, and the clueless ones. Also, how to deal with the less ‘high-school’ types: the older guys who act like children not to spark a reaction in you, but just because that’s the way they are. In my next blog, I’ll tell you about some first hand experiences I’ve had with all types of boys, including one memory I have involving purple hair and Black Friday shopping.

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